i’m ill

swallow me whole

"I wanted to be calm, like a mound with all its cities destroyed,
and tranquil, like a full cemetery."

I’m leaving this blog for a while. I just can’t stay here at this moment. I just can’t and also twitter. I’m a wreck- has been for a long time. That’s all.

I will learn new things
I will rebuild lost friendship
I will trust more
I will open-up myself
I will share what I have
I will give my best
And I will fall in love
but then again, maybe I won’t.

I’ll send a storm to capture your heart

and bring you home

(Source: Spotify)

Just a few hours left before the sunrise and I am thinking of you reading this (if you are even existing), thinking of my friends, my thesis, and all the craps and the bullshits laying low just waiting to be stimulated all over again. Fuck that potato right in front of me. How I wish that I could lock my mind away from these strings of poisonous thoughts.

MERRY BARBECUE CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas everyone! I may not be able to receive all of the things I’ve listed on my wishlist but I’m still thankful that I’m celebrating it with my family and close relatives. Plus the barbecues are everywhere. There’s no other great food for me (this time around) against this barbecue dipped in vinegar. I could see stars and even angels descending from the sky surrounding me while savoring every bit of it. One more thing, I wish that those living in Visayas will still have a happy Christmas. I wanna share all these barbecue with you guys if only I could go there. Again, Merry Christmas.

P.S.

I’m accepting gifts all-year-round. Lalo na if it’s a penny cruiser, a pair of green 1460’s, and love. Haha :)

Pain is an inspirational tool. It’s what makes most of the artists. Their art is pain transformed into something derisive, deluding, and dismantling.

Anonymous asked:
Be strong. Give yourself all the positive distractions you need. These are just emotions. Release them to free yourself from the burden that hinders you to be happy. I know that these things are easier said than done but I also know that you can do it. Keep the faith!

I will try to be strong and you’re right. I never thought that someone like you really cares even if I don’t know you personally. Thank you dear :))

Just flee if you can’t fight because that will not make you less of a person rather, it gives you more time to think and act rationally. Fleeing doesn’t always mean cowardice. Take the flight and land somewhere peaceful and serene.

I had this short, funny conversation with my sister and Pops while we’re in the kitchen, waiting for dinner to be served. I thought of putting it on my blog and have something to laugh about when time comes. Though it may sound not funny because I’m not good at telling stories, still, I’ll put it here.

Me: (taking out a jar of uncooked oats and started eating) 

Yana: Ate pahingi.

Pops: Ano yang kinakain mo?

Me: Oats

Pops: Hilaw pa yan ha?

Yana: Ganyan talaga, pagkain ng mga beauty queen.

I ¬†couldn’t help myself from laughing with my sister’s funny retort. It sounded funny to me. Seriously, my sister’s got a knack in that department.

Getting artsy-fartsy once in while because my head is a freaking isolated world of absolute desolation. So, I decided to somehow channel the pandemonium that my head’s been creating into something productive. This one’s for the mixtape that I’ve been trying to finish before classes officially start. I don’t draw nor paint, I just do what I want. No one really cares anyway, so yeah. Haha.

Again, this feeling eats me. I feel weird and vulnerable. I’m afraid for each passing minute that I might breakdown and go haywire causing me to do something erratic. Oh please, calm my nerves. It’s like an ocean of emotions trying escape a glass container.